It takes so long to see progress when one is waiting for lushness. So much work and money and time and energy. But I must just continue to bite off a little at a time. Like the deer.
The deer. The deer. The deer. They nibble everything right down to the nubbins. A bite at a time. Very patiently.
Patience. Patience, like a deer, is beautiful and there's always a surprise, a pleasant one or more, or a mangled plant or two, waiting for me along the path, which end I never reach.
There's always something to do, plant, pick up, weed, trim, repair ~ oh goodness. But it's okay. This is what it's like to stay put in one place for longer than a few years. It's homey and comfortable to live in a place long enough to really experience the thought and planning, then the execution of maintaining it. And then starting back at the beginning with the re-doing of it. There's a peace, brought through continuity, that grows inside my heart. Cyclical, familiar, comforting, renewing, nourishing, fulfilling, satisfying. Even in spite of the place being imperfect, not matching what my initial dream was of "my home" here. This is a good place, with challenges that are teaching me to be patient; to grow up, become mature; accept and live in reality; learn discipline and obedience; embrace pain and disappointment and know that it won't last forever, that I will live through it and be stronger in the end, and for those challenges that do last forever, I will have the strength and courage to face and endure them.
Patience. I thank God for patience. Even in writing it takes patience to think thoughts through, take pen in hand, translate from heart to head and put to paper each little loop of each letter, or each individual strike of each key one at a time, to form the words that express the thoughts that began as little bright spots in my heart. From a nearly imperceptible spark deep inside of me to full-fledged complete sentences, paragraphs, whole pages even, of words strung together into an idea or observation that someone can read, comprehend and grab hold of. Fascinating. Seeds sprouting, spreading perhaps by underground runners to bloom and produce nourishment and beauty for the body, spirit and soul. And as such, are words strung together sprouting fresh thoughts that form nourishment of a more intangible type for the same body, spirit and soul. All because of patience. And hard work, of course.
At least that's what I got out of it today. I know there's more. More digging, pruning, planting, weeding, in both the garden and my life. One day I'll stand up, straighten my bent over back, look around and see, the deer!? Yes, the beautiful deer peacefully grazing through my garden. They must feel safe here in my garden. They come often enough.
Hopefully, too, I'll see how far I've come, how much I've accomplished, how much patience I've acquired. I'm so glad there's tomorrow. I've so much more to learn and need more time, and the added perspective of hindsight.