We are considering establishing a new school in order to prepare those interested in taking their lives in their own hands by driving themselves around in Israel. We're thinking of calling it:
The Shalom School of Offensive Driving
Here you’ll receive hands-on field training to learn the essential skills necessary to peacefully and calmly drive while in Israel. You’ll learn where the edges of your vehicle are so you can safely, efficiently, and with precision, weave through traffic while traveling at high speeds down the freeway. Included is instruction on when and how to use the medians to avoid being caught in traffic snarls.
These skills will also apply while driving in city traffic when you suddenly need to turn left from the right-hand lane, forcefully merge between lanes, and dodge oncoming traffic while avoiding double-parked cars along a two-way street.
We’ll also have beginner through master classes on when and how to use your horn to express your impatience, or to protect nearby drivers by warning them of their mistakes due to their inexperience.
If your interest is in motorcycles, our class, Threading a Camel Through the Eye of a Needle, will teach you the essential basics in choosing which two lanes of vehicles to scoot between, how to judge the distance between them, which lane is likely moving the quickest, and when is the best time to take the sidewalk.
You’ll learn when and when not to close your eyes and hold your breath, that courage is your only option, and that every moment is an opportunity to pray for mercy and protection.
Finally, you’ll learn that a vehicle is merely a useful tool with which to move about and that dents and scratches are the Badges of Bravery that testify of your many successful arrivals to your destination.
If you’re interested in applying for admission to our school please phone our office at 1-800-DRV-ISRL.